I don’t know what went wrong with my latitude & longitude when I was born. But when it comes to communicating right things to the right person at the right time… my friend Murphy is always besides me… sometimes uninvited L and when he is near you, # of hops in the chain does not matter. 

I was recalling the ISB Alum Meet that happened in Chennai with a senior manager who had come down to Chennai from the US. He is a good friend and we share good relations for the last 6 years. Good for me… otherwise things would have gone really messy. 

The conversation was healthy (really healthy ). It went on for good 5 mins and before I could realize I had crossed the ‘Point of No Return’

Sr. Mgr: “So how was the Alum Meet?”

Monk: “Went on good… got a chance to interact with my alums. You know we don’t have an overlap period… bla bla bla”

Sr. Mgr: “So did you meet this girl. Her name is ——-”

Monk: “Oh Yes… I met her… phew… she was awesome. Very pretty… cute” (I still don’t know what it means… but anyway…)

Monk: “… sociable. Every guy’s dream…”

Monk: “… she definitely must be a model… the way she carried herself… uff…”

Monk: “Kya Ada… Mein Fida”

Monk: “Darn… I should have rehearsed few pick-up lines”

Monk: “………………..” (I go on & on & on)

As I continued with my… ‘you-know-what’… I noticed that the conversation started normally and one question turned me from being Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.

Monk: “So… how do you know her? ”

Monk: “Is she your class-mate in school or someone you know?”

Sr. Mgr: “<Patting my back & smirking> Not exactly… she is my cousin”

Monk: “!@#$^!!!!!!@#%^” I really didn’t know how to react… he smiled and I reciprocated. (Yup… luckily Murphy had gone for a coffee). I have always carried this thought – “It is not where you work which is important… but how you work that is important”. The key thing is to always challenge status quo.But when it comes to a conversation… this episode has taught me a lesson. Take care of WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY & HOW… otherwise you will be taken care of

Term 8 at ISB + Access to lots of articles is a potent combination. In my quest for more knowledge (a.k.a 1 page write-ups ) I read few reports through links available in LRC. One abstract that caught my attention was Business Insight’s report on ‘Adult Entertainment’ – the oldest profession in the world. There were few statistics that startled me… 

• US market generates 30% of total adult entertainment market revenue
• 59.2% of US adult online content revenue was generated through advertising and merchandising in the US in 2001; the rest was via subscriptions 

That means… all markets other than US contribute to 70% of revenue and 40% of online revenue comes from subscription. I’m not able to piece the puzzle here. US is the largest market with UK & continental Europe coming next… that means more than 40% of the revenue should come from RoW. Ignoring Thailand, do we have a regulated market in this part of the world?

I have never seen a soul here who has spent money on buying content from primary stores or online… it is always the secondary market which ticks here… a world where everything is ‘Napsterized’.

• ‘Dude does this road lead to Pallika Bazaar?’
• ‘Hey, do you have some CDs? C’mon… You know what I’m asking for’
• ‘Boss, hmm… can you share your files? What is your share name? Is it PG99?’  

We do have well-oiled machinery for Escort Services & Magazines… but will Indians get to see TV-Ads which reads ‘1-800-Patli-Kamar’ or ‘1-800-Bali-Umar’? I doubt… but with the coverage Mika & Rakhi got when they ‘gasped for breadth’… you never know. 

For a moment… let me wear my B-School hat and act more responsibly. We were told to read parallels between industries and apply learnings & best practices… so here goes one – ‘What should Hugh Hefner’s marketing head do when he starts an adult book store in a new location?’… Answer is simple – Do what Sam Walton did best… hang a banner in the front which reads “Backdoor Bonanza” JJ 

Alright Monk… time to analyze the cost structure of these online adult entertainment companies. Adult content products are graphics intensive and therefore procurement of bandwidth should be a major element in the cost structure of any adult content site. With high traffic inflow and low ‘visitor-subscriber’ conversion rate, the initial & free ‘teaser’ pages should use much of the bandwidth.

Is there anyway to reduce this unprofitable expense?

• Derived Content – Larger firms can sell their content to smaller businesses. Smaller businesses won’t have the wherewithal to produce content.
• Increase Subscriber Inflow – Have a mechanism to share subscriber traffic across websites. This way, companies can reduce ‘visitor to subscriber’ ratio and also have more moolah for every click. If one were to get more sauve with jargons … you can call it ‘Eyeball to Action’ ratio

One way is to cut cost and do more for what you spend. Other way is to bring more revenue through advertisements. There is nothing wrong in taking 59.2% to a higher number especially in a world where there are more Eyeballs and no Action. How easy is it to retain subscribers without a constant supply of fresh content and that too when they have to be licensed from movie makers?

So the next time you hear someone ‘Yes…Yes…Yes…Yes’ on TV/ Computer please remember there are thousands of unsung heroes (read Analysts ) behind the stage who work around the clock.

On thing that intrigues me is the models (read girls… gorgeous would be an understatement) who come in these advertisements. Where in hell are they from? Are they from Chennai? If yes… I’m sure Ford Prefect would change his mind and get himself transferred to this city. But I suspect that they are importing them from some far off ‘Tra-La-La’ land to this ‘Hinter’land. 

They are unlike the other girls I see on the roads of Chennai (yeah Ford… you heard me right!! ). If I were to draw a perceptual map of girls and… no Monk don’t even get there – save your matrix for something else. 

Every morning when I get ready to leave… I see them dance to some catchy tune on TV flaunting the sari and diamond/ gold. I leave home floating in ether (remembering the models) before harsh reality strikes. This is the time when I enter Old Mahabalipuram Road and the ‘model’ bubble bursts. All I get to see is a hazy image of Ferrari doing a ‘Muahahahahahaha’.I try my best to get back to my dream with ‘Jhalak Dikhla Jaa… Deedar Ko Tarse Ankhiyan… Na Din Guzre Na Kate Ratiyan’ and before I reconstruct my bubble I take a right to enter the office campus.

Few days back I had a lengthy discussion with my colleague ‘M__ka’ about violence in movies. The case in hand was the string of murders committed by two ‘novice’ serial killers in a Tam movie ‘Vettaiyadu Vellaiyadu’. One might be tempted to think that it cannot get gory than this… and all such manifestations of violence should be stopped in movies.

As I flipped the coin, I found that there exists another school of thought and I totally subscribe to it – ‘Perfect rendition of violent actions in movies should be appreciated’. At the end of the day the actor is only portraying a fictional (or real life) character in the movie. So the more you get nauseated watching a scene the more the actor should be applauded.

This discussion prompted me to do some browsing on serial killers and psycho-analytic profiling by detectives. If you are interested you can read more about real life cases.

One real life case which shocked me was the story of Ted Bundy. I even managed to get a VHS of Ted Bundy from Blockbuster when I was in the US. If VV is shocking… wait until you see this movie (yeah… Ted Bundy is also a Necrophile). On the Trail of Ted Bundy would give you more insights on the profile of this notorious predator.

I wished he never existed in real life… but I must admire the way Michael Reilly Burke portrayed the character of Ted Bundy in the movie. Kudos to him.

You cannot have a serial killer do a ‘Tujhe Dekha To Ye Jaana Sanam’ and chase girls around trees. And of course you cannot dilute the movie with an ‘item’ number as it is done here. If the movie is expected to be graphic in nature it has to be that way. PERIOD

Monk Mood – Bored !!